I don't know why it surprised me. Of course, I know this clinically trauma is often held in the body, and specific smells, locations, and sensations can manifest as dysregulation. And let's be honest, the first apartment you ever shared with an ex-husband who mistreated you, betrayed you, lied to you was the perfect breeding ground for this type of physical reaction. But as time has passed and healing and recovery have taken place, the words could come out now and it felt really nice.
This also reminded me of the weight and impact physical locations can carry on our healing journeys. A journey to healing from whatever situation life has dealt you comes in all sorts of phases and needs, but one of the easiest entry points is finding a physical location that feels safe. A space where you don't worry about who might be listening or who might walk in. This is vital because, like most journeys in life, your feelings, thoughts, and emotions will fluctuate. Having a space where it doesn't feel impossible to express that will allow you to move through the pain.
In my clinical work, I've seen that not enough people fight to find this for themselves. Instead of feeling in a safe space, they resort to bottling it up. ignoring it, or becoming explosive, and all that leads to is resentment or a feeling of being stuck that completely detracts from their brain's ability to develop true resilience. They assume time will heal the wounds, but without a true admission and opportunity to feel validated and reflect and eventually feel believed in again even if it’s by themselves, they're often left with emotional scars but no true growth or resilience.
Healing is such a journey. This week I realized that I've been divorced for two years and separated for almost four years at this point, and this is the first year that I'm really starting to build a life that I'm excited about. One that's really what I want to make my thirties about. But getting here has not been easy, and the first step to all of this was finding places where I could really just let it all go and melt away into whatever it was that demanded my attention internally.
My hope is that you find a space. Whether it's an apartment, a parked car by the river, or the shower with the music going loudly. Find your space. I know it seems small, but three to five minutes, your phone on do not disturb, I promise your body will know the difference.
Stay close,
Lisa
Your next great hire lives in Slack.
Viktor is an AI coworker that connects to your tools and ships real work. Ask Viktor to pull a report, build a client dashboard, or source 200 leads matching your ICP. Most teams hand over half their ops within a week.